Author Topic: Story time - compilation of stories  (Read 276 times)

Offline hdggDalton

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Story time - compilation of stories
« on: August 06, 2017, 05:32:24 AM »
Story time, kids! Gather round, we will tell legendary stories!

Fencing man
The fencing man is Red Fork Town's folk hero. By day, the fencing man is a baker. He sells metric tons of bread every day to starving people who had a bad day. By night, he turns into... Fencing man! He wields a rapier, and wears heavy armour. Legend says he could do up to 110 damage on his critical stop thrusts! One day, the people of Red Fork Town were attacked by barbarian zombies who tried to eat everyone! The town was in grave danger of being wiped off the map. Over 9000 zombies were on the town's border. But then... Fencing man appears out of nowhere with his rapier and charges straight into the zombies yelling "LEEEEEROY JEEEENKINS!!!" He stabbed so many zombies at a ridiculous speed, his arms were but blurs in the townspeople's eyes, the zombies could not stand a chance! The townspeople were inspired by the fencing man's bravery and they charged into the fray with their wooden weapons. 101 vs over 9000 zombies. The battle of Red Fork Town began. The townspeople whacked, cut, bashed, stabbed, and punched their way into the zombie horde! The fencing man was with them. Together they started to push back the zombies with chairs, planks, and whatever they could get their hands on. The battle raged for an unbelievable 10 hours, sunrise to sunset, until the last zombie was put to the sword. The fields of Red Fork Town were painted red for weeks on end, but when the mayor, who was wielding a butter knife, wanted to give fencing man the key to the city, he found fencing man's corpse. The rapier lay beside the corpse. The town buried fencing man in their graveyard and every April 3rd onwards, they held Fencing Man Festival every year where they visit fencing man's grave and re-enacted the epic battle of Red Fork Town with the mayor playing out the role of fencing man.

Hymn to Fencing Man
 Oh, Fencing Man,
 We honour your service
 as Red Fork Town's greatest hero.
 You shall live forever and ever in our minds
 even through the darkest days in hell.
 You truly deserve to be in heaven
 where you will eat bread and drink wine.
 Do not worry about your rapier
 it has been stored in an attic
 where no one will look.

The end.

Guitar hero
The obscure story of guitar hero starts in a music store. He was looking for a guitar when zombies attacked. The others were dying very quickly, and guitar hero picked up an acoustic guitar. This would be the first, last, and best concert in my life, guitar hero thought. He started playing the guitar, to the other people's amazement. We are being attacked, and this lunatic is playing a guitar, they thought. But as soon as his song fell quiet, he started mashing zombies into mashed potatoes with his guitar. Zombie after zombie fell to guitar hero's massive guitar, dealing 40+ damage on every hit. The leader of the zombies, a zombie hulk, stormed into the music store, and with what remains of its intelligence, grunts, "YOU KILLING MY COMRADES!!!" and charges guitar hero. Of course, guitar hero dies immediately, after being thrashed into a trash can. This story is so obscure because hardly any witnesses survived the zombie hulk except for a nosy outdoorsman who peeked into the music store with binoculars from a far away hill.
The end.

Don't lose your head
An arrogant survivor who lasted 10 years started to build an indestructible deathmobile and tries to take over all of New England. Of course, this doesn't go very well for him, as he loses his glasses while looking for potatoes in his deathmobile halfway through conquering New England (after all, most of it is uninhabited). He lost his eyes. Now he would lose his head. He was approached by a nice-looking lady who he thought was his long lost mother. He followed his mother, thinking that she would lead him to an impenetrable base as she promised when they met. She set him into what felt like a bed... nope, it's a guillotine with a pillow, and the nice-looking lady finally gives him his glasses before saying, "Son, you've lost your eyes. Now you will lose your head. For good!" Before he even realizes that it's a guillotine, the lady's husband releases the guillotine blade and cuts off the guy's head. She said, "Oh, you've outdone yourself, sweetie. We could have just as easily lead him into a landmine, but you've set up this elaborate plan just to impress me? Why, I am indeed impressed! Lend me your head..." and they kissed.
The end.
stop! sledgehammer time!